Wednesday, October 12, 2011

No Country for Old Men, No Sanity for Alexa

Warning: I'm about to be an overly dramatic drama diva queen. You have been warned. :)

Cormac McCarthy is still alive, right? I need to have a little chit chat with that lunatic of a writer. Because after having to read No Country for Old Men for my Honors Comp 2 class, I have a few questions. Ahem.

1) Are you a psychopath or do you have dreams of becoming one?
2) While other kids were coloring, were you looking up a million ways to be cruel?
3) Did your parents hug you enough when you were little?
4) Now that I have read your book, could you kindly point me in the direction of the nearest therapist?

Worst. Book. Ever. Ever. Ever. EVER.

If you are going to tell me something about how it's a great piece of literature or some other kind of nonsense like that, you better keep those terrible thoughts in your pretty little head! And then be thankful that your head wasn't one of the many ones that got to meet a nice cattle gun (Is that what those things are called? The thing they use to shoot cows in the forehead or whatevs?) in that stupid book. I mean REALLY. I've watched my fair share of gory tv shows/movies that made me want to throw up all of my internal organs, but this book goes way past anything I've ever seen. It's 309 pages of nonstop killing! I wake up in the morning and brush my teeth, he wakes up in the morning and kills five people. Then changes his shirt and goes on with his day. No big deal.

I hated reading it. I can't even imagine writing something like that! I always get really attached to the characters in the books I read, so that's probably a big problem too. Once I got closer to the end of the book and he killed one of the main character's wife, Carla Jean, (who, might I add, had just lost her husband AND her mom) I lost it. I'm pretty sure Jen thought something was wrong with me. I had to stop reading and do something else because I couldn't do it! He's awful, mean, terrible, and just HORRIBLE! The way he kills the people, and the awful conversations he has with them right before, and just everything! I can't wrap my tiny little brain around something like that. I've been having awful dreams about it too! I mean, there are probably people like him on this planet! I have big dreams and plans for my life, people. I can NOT afford to get chased down by a psycho killer. I was glad when I went to class on Tuesday and discovered that some of the other girls in my class are just as disturbed. Oh, and someone PLEASE tell me how the movie got an Academy Award. Best picture? Are you kidding?! Sickos.

My heart sinks every time I have to open the book. The best part? I still have to discuss/analyze it even more and then I get to write a paper on it next week. Lucky me! If you have/had to read this book, I'm so sorry. You are more than welcome to go searching for a therapist with me. :)

So, stay away from psychopathic murderers, and if you see someone with a cattle gun.. RUN.

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