Tuesday, November 15, 2011

Needle Happy Nurses and Drug Addictions

True Life: I have turned into a drug addict.

Lemme just say, it SUCKS to be sick in college. For me AND my poor roomie, who has been FREEZING all week because it's cold enough to hang meat in our room. But thanks to my coughing and the heating pad that is permanently strapped to my chest, it feels GREAT to me. Sorry Jen, thanks for putting up with me. :)

Anyway, the people who work at the Student Health Center are CRAY CRAY. I try to avoid going there unless I'm in dire need of drugs. No matter what you go there for, they always want to take your blood. ALWAYS! They are needle happy. (Word on the street is that it's so the nurses can get some practice in. Uhh, put the needle down and back away. You are NOT practicing on me.) Anyway, I picked up a cold from God knows where, and it turned into bronchitis and a URI. Go figure. (Also, I don't think staying out in the freezing cold and being around a bunch of smokers until 4am Friday night was a good idea. But hey, it was Bulldog Bash!) So thanks to my sucky immune system and irresponsible (but ridiculously fun) weekend plans, I had to drag myself to the SHC yesterday. The beginning of this week's visit went a little something like this:

*grumpy lady with an attitude takes me to the back*
(Note: I INSTANTLY notice the huge needle and tube thingys. Cue panic attack.)
Nurse: Sit. *points to chair* (Uh.. am I a dog?)
Me: (I sit like the good dog I am. Where's my treat?)
Nurse: Roll up your sleeve.
Me: Um.. roll up my sleeve?
Nurse: *rolls eyes* Yes. Blood test.
Me: Oh, I'm sorry but I don't need a blood test.
Nurse: You don't want no blood test? Why you think you don't need one? (att-i-tude.)

I kindly explain that I know what's wrong with me, and a blood test isn't necessary. I just need to see a doctor, get my oxygen levels checked, and get some antibiotics. She huffed and puffed, but finally let me go back to the front and wait for the doctor. Nurses HATE when I do that. I know they think I'm just a bratty, know-it-all college student, but forreals. After 18 years of this nonsense, I know what I'm talking about. I finally got a doctor and she was AWESOME. Bronchitis. URI. Low oxygen levels. Just like I said. In your face mean, needle happy nurse.

Then Awesome Doctor said two tragic words: bed rest. Uhh.. what? What does that even mean? No class. No walking long distances. No driving. Try to never be by myself in case my oxygen levels drop too low and I pass out. Um.. WHAT? I just stared at her for a really, really long time. This is the busiest week of my life and I'm not allowed to leave my bed? I thought bed rest was only for dying/pregnant people. I'm too young to be dying, and my eggo is certainly not preggo. (Name that movie.)

So here I am. Just me, my drugs, and my breathing machine. (I'm 18 and I have a BREATHING MACHINE. Am I aging in reverse or something? Curious Case of Alexa Cacibauda, anyone?) In my room. In bed. Where I've been ALL FRICKIN DAY and will continue to stay until Awesome Doctor says I can go to class and be normal. And to add cherries to the top of my Sundae of Sick Suckness, SHC isn't allowed to give excuses for missing class. Even though they are making me miss. Ummmm.

Sucks. To. Suck.

Tuesday, November 8, 2011

Jane Austen and Nerdy Italian Genes

Well, just in case all of you [and by that I mean all two or three of you. Hi, Mom. Thanks for being my #1 fan. You da best. You too, Bragg, since I know you aren't slacking on your creeping skills! :)] were worried.. I'm still alive. I've just been living in the library the past three weeks or so. Seriously. Guess where I am right now? Uh huh. The 4th floor and I see lots of each other, but I occasionally cheat on it and go up to the 5th floor instead. When I'm here at night, I'm always afraid I'm going to fall asleep and get locked in here. So I set an alarm on my phone for 1am every time. You know, just in case! The library is probably my favorite place on campus, even though I associate it with school work. If I don't feel like sitting in a cubicle, I'll just go sit in between two book shelves against the wall. The smell of old books.. yeah, I could get high off that stuff. LOVE it. Nerdy, I know. What can I say, I'm my mother's daughter. Sometimes I think we are the same person. She's just been here longer, so she has more wrinkles. :)

Speaking of nerdy, I have to write a huge research paper for my honors comp 2 class and I've decided to do it on Pride and Prejudice. I'm LOVING it. I mean, I love it a little less on the days I'm feeling super lazy, but I really have taken the terms nerdy and geeky to a whole different level. I spent at least 45 minutes in front of the shelf with all of the Jane Austen/Pride & Prejudice literary criticisms. Then I had to take two trips to the check-out desk because I got 12 books. When I had to write my 10 annotated bibliographies, it took me FOREVER. Not because I didn't know what I was doing, but because I would start reading part of a book to get an idea for my summaries, and then I wouldn't be able to stop reading. Sigh. Thanks for the nerdy traits, mom. :)

In other news, time is going by so fast! I feel like I'm going to close my eyes, open them, and suddenly have 4 kids, lots of grandkids, and a jillion wrinkles. Oh, and a husband. Those are generally important. But you get the point. My baby sister turned 16 on Sunday. SIXTEEN, people! She'll also be able to drive a car by herself soon, so if you live on the coast.. you have been warned.

How did we go from this..

To THIS so quickly?

Yeah. I have no idea either. Either way, my life needs to SLOW DOWN. I'm getting too old, too fast! And thanks to my lovely Italian genes, wanna know what comes with getting old? WEIGHT. Apparently I don't get to eat whatever I want and get away with it anymore. I started a new diet thing this week. Oh, excuse me.. not a diet, a "new, healthy lifestyle." Gag.