I'm writing a paper on the idea of beauty and how ridiculous it has become in today's society. It's been very thought provoking and I've actually really liked writing it.
Wanna know what is even more annoying than coming home after an awful day and realizing there aren't any pickles in my fridge?
The word fat. The word ugly. People who think they are pretty enough to call someone else ugly. People who think they are skinny enough to call someone else fat. People who think they are the Fashion Police and get to decide what someone else is/isn't allowed to wear based on their weight/looks/skin color/etc.
Are you catching what I'm throwing, peeps?
Let's just start with the word fat. Who in their right mind decided that it's okay to call yourself and others fat? Everyone thinks they are fat. I get it, I do. My closet is behind two HUGE sliding doors, and both have HUGE mirrors on them. So every morning when I'm looking for a shirt to wear, I hear my mirror screaming LOOK AT EVERY SINGLE FLAW ON YOUR BODY. G-R-O-S-S. I roll my eyes, find a shirt, and tell myself I'm an idiot for ruining my Achilles tendon and making it literally impossible for me to workout for at least 3-4 months. (At the BEST time of the year. My holiday 5 will now be a holiday 20. Awesome.) But I'm over it in like 50 seconds. Why? Because I LOVE FOOD. I'm Italian. I'm a Cacibauda. It's not in our genetic makeup to be skinny.
So if everyone thinks they are fat, even those teeny tiny little girls, WHY do I constantly hear:
Yeah, she's so fat.. she's like a size 4. Ew.
WHY is she wearing that? Doesn't she know she's too fat for that?
Just because it comes in your size, that doesn't mean you should buy it.
Fat rolls and love handles are NOT cute.
Wanna know what I have to say about that? A big SHUT THE HELL UP.
Who are you to judge and name call? How dare you criticize someone just because they don't look or dress the way you do. Calling someone fat is always the first insult someone can think of. Especially ex boyfriends and mean girls. I can brush it off because I truly don't give a shit, but not everyone can do that. It really hurts people! And yes, every bully's comeback is the same three words: freedom of speech.
Why yes, you do have the freedom to be a total asshole. However, Jesus and I would like it if you would keep your asshole personality and disgusting comments to yourself.
Now let's talk about this whole clothing issue. Number of times I've seen "LEGGINGS ARE NOT PANTS, WHINE WHINE WHINE!" on my Facebook Newsfeed: 4,907. Number of times I've rolled my eyes, muttered a cuss word, and continued to wear leggings as pants: 4,907.
Let's get one thing straight: TO US, LEGGINGS ARE PANTS. Why do so many of us wear them just about every day? Because they are REALLY FREAKIN COMFORTABLE. They are almost as comfortable as not wearing pants, but they are more socially acceptable. And that's all I have to say about that. (PS- Legging lovers, I found cheap SWEATER LEGGINGS here. You're welcome.)
I was lucky enough to grow up with a mom who never criticized me or called me ugly/fat. I had friends whose moms would make them go on diets and would tell them that they were too fat. My mom made me be healthy, but she did it in a positive, encouraging way. My sister and I used to call each other fat or ugly when we were younger. They were our fighting words. I brushed it off, but she never did. I regret every second of it, but the jokes on me because Zoe is the skinnier and prettier sister who looks flawless even with no makeup on. There is absolutely no one I envy as much as I envy her. She has perfect teeth, a perfect smile, a flat stomach, and perfect curls. She also doesn't realize that she's perfect in every way, which makes me want to beat the crap out of her.
But lets be real here. I don't care about looks. Obviously. I mean, it's a miracle if I have time to brush my hair in the morning. I am confident that the right people are going to love me because of who I am, not because I woke up extra early to fix my hair. I don't care what you look like. You know what they say.. If you have a big heart but like to cuss and speak fluent sarcasm too, COME SIT BY ME. Okay fine. I'm the only one that says that. But at least I mean it.
You are so much more than your hair color or that spot on your face that showed up the day before an important picture/interview/date. You are so much more than your outfit or a stupid number that pops up when you stand on that stupid scale. Don't tell yourself or let others tell you that you are "forever alone" because of your physical appearance. Someone is going to love you because of your heart and your personality.
This doesn't mean don't be healthy. Be healthy! Exercise. Eat right. I LOVE exercising and eating right. (Too bad I also LOVE dessert.) But you should be doing all of that because you want to, not because you think you are fat and ugly and gross and have to do it to make someone love you. Because you aren't all of those things and you don't have to do it for that reason. And I know it's easier to say all of this and write a paper about it than to actually make yourself believe it. Trust me, I know. I wake up every morning and sigh when I'm forced to look in the mirror. Seriously.
I am going to be so much skinnier when I get out of college. I look awful. Why don't I wake up looking like a million bucks? I hate my thick, curly hair. I bet Audrey Hepburn didn't look like this in the morning. Have those crayon shavings been in my hair since I left work yesterday?
But then I pour myself a cup of magic also known as coffee, and I make myself say a few good things about myself or my life.
I have a family that loves me to pieces. I am smart. I have a job that I LOVE. My hair is really pretty sometimes. I have my mom's eyes. I have running water, food, a car, and an education. I have 12 sweet and obnoxious 3 & 4 year olds that are excited to see me every afternoon. I have 14 pairs of Christmas socks.
No, Seventeen Magazine is not calling me everyday begging me to be on the cover of their next issue. And no, my stomach is not as flat as the gum/playdoh/God-only-knows-what-it-is that has decided to permanently live on the bottom of my shoe. But life is too damn short to miss out on dessert, or going out with my friends on the weekends, or eating something my mom makes that's really good. And lets be real, here. We're Italian and she's Rose Cacibauda. Everything she makes is good. Those stupid magazines will say, "Is going partying with your friends and eating Taco Bell after really worth all the calories you consume that night?"
And to that I say ABSOLUTELY. It's worth every single calorie.
I am so much more than a number, and so are you.
My sorority promotes something called being "Fat Talk Free." You are supposed to encourage your friends to only say good things about themselves, and not allow them to call themselves fat. This short little video is such a good reminder!
Love and big hugs always. :)